THE LOST ART OF TOUCH

Reach Out & Touch Someone

As we move through yet another month of isolation, whether it be voluntary, or government imposed depending on our governing bodies, I find myself contemplating touch.  The nature of touch – both physical and non-physical – and how much people are missing touching and being touched.  For instance, if you are a hugger, air hugs just don’t get it, and although 6 feet with a mask keeps us safe, it’s just too far away and far too impersonal!I measure as a high introvert on the Myers Briggs test, and yet, touch and expression of relationship warmth is very important to me.  I did not fully recognize how important this is for me until we entered into enforced separation.  Due to the nature of my work, I am with people constantly – sometimes a lot of people.  While I don’t have a high need to be with many people, I do thrive on being with “my people”.  And when I am deprived of this ability to communicate in person with touch – my voice, my eyes, my expression, my body language, and yes physical touch – I have noticed that some of life’s little things are taking more effort to manage.

I find myself wondering: have we become a bit lazy, relying on hand shaking, arms around shoulders, placing a hand on someone’s arm, hugging, and other forms of physical touch with “our friends, colleagues, family and favorite people” instead of verbally communicating our caring?!  As well, it seems important to acknowledge here that has become quite a risk in our current society to express sincere caring, especially between men and women in the workplace.  (Another topic saved for a later time perhaps).

In our fast-paced, busy world with the conveniences of modern technology, we have come to rely on our phone, text messages, social media, all forms of on-line platforms, and video calls to nurture and maintain a relationship.  But is that really even possible – long term?  And now, finding ourselves in this time of separation, stripped down to the essentials, coming face to face with ourselves and who we are, it seems more important than ever that we find new ways to reach out and touch those we care for.  So, how to do that effectively?  How to touch someone when we cannot physically touch.

What is the art of touch, that has been lost in our modern day of texting, network meetings, on-line calls, and constant demand for face to with the screen?  And is it retrievable – perhaps more than retrievable as this singular time on the planet ushers us forward into a new world?  Is it possible that this time of separation has things to teach us about ourselves and our meaningful relationships that could help us expand the art of touch to a new and even more enlightened state?  We have a unique opportunity, especially now, in the current culture, to discover and re-discover what we have lost or misplaced of ourselves in our attempt to keep up and use the luxury and science of modern technology.

I believe we are being presented in this moment, world-wide, with the time to discover and develop a new level of touch intelligence quotient (touch IQ).  If I am correct, then we would be wise to look at what needs to be in place for us to use this time to expand our touch IQ.  And in posing this, we have to ask ourselves, what is the foundation in our lives that would ensure understanding, growth, and expansion in our ability to “reach out and touch someone” – perhaps evolving the lost art of touch into the new art of touch?

Suggested foundation for the new lost art of touch – Commit to:
1.    Wake up and live life awake and alive
2.    Honesty and transparency (first with self and then with others)
3.    Emotional integrity (first with self and then with others)
4.    Trust and trustworthiness (first with self and then with others)
5.    Health: physical, mental, emotional, spiritual = Commitment and follow-through on exquisite self-care
6.    A desire to grow and expand, with an eye always towards fulfilling your destiny
7.    Willingness to share with others – an attitude of inclusion vs. exclusion
8.    Respect and healthy boundaries (first with self and then with others)
9.    The ability to love and forgive and express love and forgiveness (first with self and then with others)
10.    Joy (not just happiness which is transitory), but joy, which is sustainable and lasting.

From this foundation, and remember, we are never perfect, we are in the process of living life alive, risking, making mis-steps, and learning from them; from this foundation, we are now prepared to reach out and touch, in new and innovative ways.  I mean really touch, touch deeply, touch meaningfully, always with deep respect; first for ourselves and then the other person.

In our current environment, unless you are with a significant other, child, or very close friend, touch is going to be expressed through your voice (tone, pitch, tenor, quality), your facial expressions, your body language, and your eyes – yes, your eyes – they say so much, as they are the physical aspect through which the soul and quality of light is expressed.  It is important in meaningful touch that everything in your expression is congruent.  For instance, is the message you are delivering congruent with your body language and facial expressions?  I can’t tell you how many times I see someone shaking their head no, while at the same time I hear them saying something positive!  This is incongruent, almost always a lack of transparency, even a lack of honesty!  And most often I don’t interpret it as this person is lying to me, rather, I see it more about their own lack of acknowledgement about what their truth really is!

I invite you to step into a new mode of being, now that you have had some time to adjust to this isolation with Covid-19,  and experienced your life stripped down in so many surprising and unexpected ways, offering you the opportunity to really see aspects of yourself not readily available before.  Begin the re-integration into your new world by establishing new, creative, respectful, enlightened ways of reaching out and touching someone.  As you bring your whole being and soul into the equation, touch them with that – the honesty and love of who you are.  Do not be afraid to share this deeper part of you.  Our world needs it right now.  And more important, we each need to share this right now with the important people in our lives.

Laughing, talking, sharing our fears, our loss, our pain, and our joy – celebrating all aspects of the beauty of life and being alive, regardless of the current circumstances.  As you reach out and touch authentically, honestly, fully, tactfully – the vibration of this energy will spread into the world around you and change the environments in which you live.  This my friends is true alchemy and you have the power within you to do this in your own life, affecting the world you live in for the better.

I’m looking forward to hearing from you about how you are implementing the New Lost Art of Touching.

Talking, laughing, sharing our fears, our loss, our pain, and our joy.

I am holding you in my heart.

Sending You Love and Light,
Verla Wade & The Living Light Foundation

LIVING IN THE QUESTION

As humans, we believe that we have the right to know. And, in fact, we are educated to know, and then expected to know in order to attain and maintain employment; indeed, in order to succeed in life.

And yet, I have recently been asking myself, what is it that I know? Like you, I can answer this question; as I know quite a bit in certain areas. And yet, what do we really know?

First, let me say that I am not questioning, nor am I challenging the value of a good education. Education is important – as is the ability to integrate that education with life skills – sometimes called street smarts. I am also not questioning the value of the ancient decree “Know Thyself”. This knowledge, understanding, and wisdom is imperative to living the right life.

What I became aware a while ago, is that I don’t know what I don’t know. Many of you have heard me say this for years – for those of you who know me, it is not new. What is new, is that I am now dating for the first time in number of years, and am applying this statement to dating.

One of the hardest things for me about dating is that almost always with another person involved there are things you don’t know – especially at first. And depending on how the relationship progresses or doesn’t, there are things you will never know. For instance, why it is ending? I mean why it is really ending – not the surface stuff, but what is really going on with the two psyches involved.

We are all quite adept at making up a plausible “storyline” about the resulting outcome, when things don’t go the way we anticipate with another person. She has intimacy issues, he has not completed his last relationship, etc., etc., etc., ad nauseam. In fact, when we don’t know, we have a tendency to label the result with a story that makes sense to us (based on our experiences), and move on. Right? And this is not just in dating.

I decided, that as new men moved through my life I was going to continue moving forward with no stories about them! I have concluded that since I do not really know them, that any story I put on the situation is just a spin, based on me, and might have no true basis in reality. Sure, I’m pretty astute, even aware, and a somewhat trained psychic. All that being equal, I still don’t know that person, and my spin/story is just that – not based on fact, rather based on some fragment of my past experience, or present figment of imagination, or projection into the future.

With this in mind, I have decided to LIVE IN THE QUESTION. No story, no fear, no spin, no solution. This means no immediate resolution that lets my emotional and mental bodies “off the hook”. When I honestly don’t know, I respond with just the simple statement – I don’t know what happened. And, I have to tell you – that in itself, has been a big learning curve. It’s not easy, because we are SUPPOSED TO KNOW! Right? If we don’t know, apparently we have not done something right!

Well, here’s what I have to share with you. When two people are involved, we cannot always know what is going on with the other person. Indeed, sometimes they don’t even know! Which leads me to know that my choice to live with the question might be more honest than always seeking to know why it didn’t work out, or what happened for him, etc. etc. etc.

I have discovered that as I live in the question, it seems to always bring me back to me. Am I who I want to be? Am I the best version of myself? And honestly, isn’t that what its about?

Not knowing is not easy. And yet, its honest. Its authentic. Next time you don’t have enough information and you decide to “diagnose” a situation or person in your life just so you can be comfortable, I invite you to live in the question.

And please, let me know how it unfolds for you.

I am holding you in my heart.

Sending You Love and Light,
Verla Wade & The Living Light Foundation

SOCIAL DISTANCING – WHAT WE ARE LEARNING

Amid a world-wide pandemic, we have the opportunity to experience some things that we otherwise might never encounter.  I want to share with you what I am learning from this challenging time:

  • Social distancing doesn’t mean I have to be distant.
  • Social distancing doesn’t mean social isolation.
  • Isolating doesn’t mean I have to be isolated.
  • Separating physically doesn’t mean I have to separate mentally, emotionally, or spiritually
  • Not being able to do our regular work, doesn’t mean I can’t work and be productive
  • Losing large parts of my established routines doesn’t mean I can’t establish new (perhaps even more meaningful or effective) routines
  • Having a lot of extra time on my hands doesn’t mean I need to waste time
  • Experiencing significant economic/financial challenges doesn’t mean that I am economically/financially challenged
  • Worrying about a situation doesn’t remedy or help the situation
  • Losing my normal means of being productive doesn’t mean I can’t be productive
  • Not going to work every day doesn’t mean I can’t get dressed and ready for every day.

Traffic is nearly gone
Gas is more affordable
Bills are extended
Kids are home with their families
Parents are home and able to spend time with and take care of their families
Fast food is being replace by home cooked meals
Hectic schedules are being replaced with naps, rest, and relaxation
Gardens are being planted
Animal shelters are nearly empty
The air is cleaner
The world is quieter
People are very conscious about hygiene and health
Doctors, nurses and health care professionals are being praised and recognized instead of athletes and celebrities

And we now have TIME, finally to SLOW DOWN, and SMELL the ROSES.  

I am holding you in my heart.

Sending You Love and Light,
Verla Wade & The Living Light Foundation

“THERE ARE MORE IMPORTANT THINGS THAN LIVING”

Dan Patrick, The Texas Lieutenant Governor, made this statement a few weeks ago, which you can imagine, has drawn significant criticism. Of course, he was talking about our current national lockdown situation and how it is affecting business – particularly small businesses – as well as the mental and emotional health of individuals, and ensuring that our solution is not worse than the problem.

I’ve been rolling this provocative statement around in my mind now for several weeks. Is there something (or some things) more important than life? If so, what are they?

For me, the answer is possibly yes. And, one of them that is at least equally important to life, is quality of life.

We are given our first breath coming out of the womb by our Creator as well as continuing breaths and ensuing life. At some point, perhaps age of discernment, or age of maturity, we each become responsible for the quality of our life. Unfortunately for most of us, and no one really alerted us to this fact – you are responsible for both the quality of your life, as well as how your life goes!! No one even told us that this assignment was one day imminent!

It is no wonder then, that so many people are not ready or willing to really and honestly fully accept this obligation! We were not primed or even equipped for this hard fact – it wasn’t in the instruction manual we received with the first breath. Ok, what Instruction Manual? You know the Instruction Manual – for how to be successful as a human. I didn’t find mine until I was 50 years old and began working with the Universal Kabbalah! Hopefully many of you discovered your manual much sooner!!!???!!!

Kabbalah tells us there are 10 aspects to life and quality of life. When the energy is balanced in these aspects, we live a prosperous, abundant life overflowing with joy, as we fulfill our life purpose (aka destiny); while on the way, we make a significant contribution to our fellow man. When the energy is not balanced in these 10 aspects, the result is less than illustrious, and we are at risk of living the wrong life – and certainly not reaching the fulfillment of our destiny.

Fast forward to 2020 and Covid-19. A world-wide pandemic which has millions of people on our planet back to basics, living life moment by moment, in our homes, most of us not working, without the normal guarantees and even worse, worrying about losing the physical foundation that each of us has worked so diligently to establish.

So now what – what remains – where are we today without the all the norms we are so accustomed to? First, we have life left – today – without guarantee of tomorrow, next week or next month. Well, there never were any guarantees, were there? Although most of us were not really in touch with fact that until the last 4-5 weeks. Covid-19 has given us the opportunity to come face to face with the fragility of life as well as the quality of how we are living it! And we each have the ability to define and even redefine what quality of our life means.

We may desire to go back to the old normal, but I suspect that is fantasy thinking. I suggest that we would be wise if we decide to cultivate a new normal – an updated status quo that allows for flexibility and agility in our thinking. I know, it’s not familiar, but nothing is right now so why not take this time to dive deep, and redesign your life to reflect the quality you are meant to live? Mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically.

What needs to transform? What do you need to change in your mind to create a new, solid, adaptable Foundation? I for one, enjoy and am fostering more mental agility, more mental flexibility, more mental openness, more mental curiosity, more mental graciousness, more self honesty, more compassion, more loving-kindness, and yes, even more beauty in my mind.

Are there more important things than living? Ultimately, you are the only one who can answer this question for yourself.

I am holding you in my heart.

Sending You Love and Light,
Verla Wade & The Living Light Foundation

THE CHOICE IS YOURS – HOW TO PROACTIVELY MANAGE YOUR STRESS

You may have heard me say this – we have choice.  We always have choice.  It is part of being human.  But now, as the choices are becoming more limited/restricted and the resulting stress is pandemic, it may feel like there is little or no choice.  Or, we may recognize the choices, but it is difficult to decide between them because none of the options seems much better than the other.  Sound familiar?

I will say to you, never has choice been more important to you and your quality of life.  Why is this?  Because I am literally observing people do one of two things:
~ Either choose to make the best of things, be positive, bring love and compassion for themselves and others into their daily lives, thereby reducing and managing stress, or
~ Choose to be disillusioned, upset, becoming increasingly worried stressed about things that are beyond their control.
It is important to understand that actively exercising timely choice in in our lives, results in enhanced discernment about what we can control and manage and what we cannot.

Let me bottom line this for you, from my perspective.  The only thing we can truly control is ourselves.  And when have true self-understanding, we can gain control in our lives, resulting in our ability to respond vs. react.  This allows the best choice to become lucidly clear (even when none of the options seem viable or favorable).

We may not always like our choices – AND we always have choice.  When we consistently, consciously exercise choice, we experience feelings of freedom and empowerment. Remember no choice is a choice.  Not making a choice and letting things just happen, nearly always results in the experience of disempowerment, discouragement, feeling loss of control, and overwhelming stress.

Not making a choice is a choice!  Another thing I observe in this area of making choices is that some people have a tendency to analyze and gather information so that they can make the best possible choice.  This often becomes a stalling strategy, due to concern or fear of making the wrong choice.  For people who find themselves here, I recommend an internal self-chat and setting a deadline by when to consciously decide.

Yes, there are always ensuing results from whatever choice we make, but once we make a decision and put it into motion, we have the opportunity to gain additional information about that choice.  If new information indicates it was not the best one, we can make a new choice!  It’s honestly that simple!  Unfortunately, our ‘perfectionist’ often gets involved, and slows down the decision making process.

When we don’t exercise conscious choice, we can rapidly move into survival, vs. the ability to thrive.  Survival is related to fear – flight or fight – the old brain response.  And even though many of us in our current unfamiliar environment are paring down to a new restricted level of living, we do not have to reside in fear – and, it is a choice.

When we use tools to keep our brains in the cognitive area and the pre-frontal cortex, this allows us to make good decisions.  Fear on the other hand puts us into the animal state.  And when the fear crops up, because it does (and it will continue to in this current environment filled with tough choices), it is important that you go back to what you know work.  Keep things as simple and easy as possible right now – breathing exercises, meditation, exercise, eating well, restful sleep, …  You already know what it is for you!

Making wise, consistent (daily), small choices builds a positive continuum for your life that will a new solid foundation.  Especially right now when so many of us are in some form of isolation and severely restricted as to who we see in person, who we can touch physically, and what we do both for work to generate income and for pleasure and relaxation.

I totally agree with giving ourselves a week or two to relax and unwind.  But after that, then what?  I know if I don’t make the effort to:

  • eat well,
  • exercise regularly,
  • wake up well rested,
  • consciously breathe
  • look my best,
  • keep my environment clean and tidy,

then my spirits are not nearly as positive as when I do make this effort.  I like looking at myself when I look good – its that simple.  I love my environment when it looks good.  Its easier to manage the daily stressors when I eat well and get enough rest.  My whole physical system works much more efficiently when I take full breaths.  We as humans are visual and respond to our environments – both internally and externally.

  • What are the small choices you can make to enhance each day this week?
  • What choices will nurture your soul and your physical being right now?
  • What can you do hour by hour that will assist you in knowing you have had a productive day when you fall asleep tonight?
  • Projects you have never had the time to start (or finish)?
  • Organization that you have been putting off?
  • People you have not connected with for some time?
  • Who have you not told that you admire them, appreciate them, love them …. (fill in the blank)?
  • What do you love doing that you can do while you are at home and not working?

There has never been a better time than now!

Have a wonderful week, full of conscious, effective, life-enhancing choices to proactively lower stress.

I am holding you in my heart.

Sending You Love and Light,
Verla Wade & The Living Light Foundation

LOVE, FAITH & GRATITUDE CAN’T BE QUARANTINED

Like so many of you I have been settling down at home and learning how to manage and do my share in slowing down the rapid world-wide spread of COVID-19.

I find it so interesting that to manage this virus we must now isolate – which is generally not recommended in any situation when people need to be united in the positive.  And yet, at the dawning of the new paradigm, we are being required to do just that – isolate – while at the same time we must summon faith and grace to unite, as we face the unknown.

We have a choice – we can unite in our fear, we can unite in our distress over our loss of income, our unilateral loss of freedom, our loss of community, our immanent loss of friends and family – the list goes on….  Or, we can rise higher and (to quote a friend of mine) ‘fly above’ the consuming cloud of fear and anxiety, and chose to love.

I have a few things I’d like to share with you this week about love and faith.

First, it is as easy to live from a place of faith and gratitude as it is to live from a place of fear.  To do this though, requires conscious choice.  When you live from a place of gratitude and peace, you can draw upon peace and then you have faith!  One leads to the other.  When we are able to consciously (and collectively) thank God/the Universe for what we have, we gather momentum for the positive.  As we do this, God/the Universe gives us grace for now and for today – not tomorrow.  As we are grateful for today, it expands into grace for tomorrow.  When we work to develop this consistency we ensure the foundation of on-going grace in our lives.

Second, our capacity to love is limited only by how much we love ourselves!  Although we often behave opposite, in truth, we cannot love another more than we love ourselves – just as we cannot respect another more than we respect ourselves.  Otherwise is it false and disingenuous love.  Obviously, there is a lot of the disingenuous masquerading as the real thing out there!

Third, it appears that COVID-19 attacks the immune system.  The key to the immune energies is held in the heart and the heart chakra, which also manage our healing ability and ability to love.  So I say, “Thank God that Love, Faith and Gratitude cannot be quarantined!”  And in this, we have the keys to staying healthy, vital and strong.  LOVE.  Self-love, so we can love others, unconditionally as much as it is possible for conditional, imperfect humans to do this.  Ceaselessly, engaging in acts of love.  First for ourselves and then for others.  And I submit, this is part of our true work in this imposed isolation – to go within and begin to release and forgive those areas where we do not love ourselves fully, wholly and unconditionally.

If this feels like too large of a task right now, I understand.  Begin with gratitude.  Gratitude for whatever you have to be grateful.  It will expand. As you express gratitude, you will start to relax and breath.  Your physical body will respond almost immediately, resulting in a higher ability to function.  The benefits of expressing gratitude and positive thinking are so well-documented that I am not going to elaborate here on either the science or the metaphysics – AND I do want to invite you to practice gratitude every day.  Simply stated, gratitude will open a pathway to expanding your peace of mind.  Expand gratitude, reduce fear.  It’s that simple – and its your choice.

As your gratitude expands – true gratitude, expressed from your heart, your peace of mind expands and faith begins to take the place where fear once resided.  As faith grows, so does your ability to think and function at your optimal.

COVID-19 is bringing us into the now – into the moment – in a way that has perhaps never happened before on the planet.  Nearly everyone world-wide is sharing in some version of this experience.  In the now.  What an amazing moment.

What do you want to do with this moment?  It’s up to you.  It’s up to each of us.

As we are being asked to stay home through April and now into May, I’d like to invite you to join me for a series of Meditations for Health, Balance & Peace of Mind, which I am offering on Zoom twice a week, Tuesdays and Thursdays, 6:30-8:00 pm PDT.  These meditations will last approximately 1 hour, after which I will answer questions for ½ hour.  This service is complimentary – no charge (donations will be accepted if anyone choses).

During this time we will also be publishing our Newsletters more often.  Perhaps as often as weekly.  So we invite you to stay tuned if these conversations are of interest to you.

Sending you Love and Light,
Verla Wade & The Living Light Foundation

CURRENT MESSAGE FROM THE LIVING LIGHT FOUNDATION

We are alive and functioning in a very interesting time on the planet.  In the face of all of this, two things are vitally important.  First, it is imperative that we do not forget to celebrate and be grateful daily for all levels of our aliveness and health.  Second, that we do not forget to function at our highest level.  I say this because right now it is rather tempting to succumb to fear.  

Today we are facing the Coronavirus and its ensuing debilitating effects on our world, our people, our economy, and our existence.  In the last few days, each of our lives has been changed in ways we could not have imagined a few weeks ago.  And I suspect this is going to continue for several months.

Fear is everywhere, and some fear that is coming up has merit, like: do I have enough supplies (including food, water, and necessary perishables); will I be able to pay my rent/mortgage, car payment, bills; what about my job; what about my older parents/family members/friends who have higher risk factors; and the list goes on.  Almost overnight, we are in a new reality that is affecting us individually and collectively on the planet.  

The best way to handle fear – true fear, real fear – is to look it in the eye, face it, and handle it.  So do the best you can to ensure you have the food, water and perishables you need for the next 4 weeks or so.  Now more than ever, take care of your health – follow the guidelines of healthy food, restful sleep, exercise – although you are probably not going to the gym for your workout.  If you have been part of the classes with the Mystery School, the time is now to fully engage with your rituals, prayer and meditation – not from a place of neediness, but from a place of establishing and solidifying your foundation and strength in life.  And most of all, be honest about where you feel the fear and face it head on – do what you can to be prepared, which helps diminish the fear.  Allow yourself to feel the fear and move through it so you can be proactive and move into action.  Develop a plan and a 2nd plan and a 3rd plan if need be.  Having a solid, viable plan with a backup plan to manage things in your life almost always alleviates fear.

Here at The Living Light Foundation we are moving forward.  I am not giving in to the fear that’s currently out there in the world.  I am acknowledging it, dancing with it, and harnessing the fear-based energy to accomplish specific things in my life.  Because we are being asked to not go out, not meet in groups, etc. (stores and restaurants are closed), this is an excellent time to catch up in my life and business, reorganize, and work on the projects that I have been too busy for.  It is also a great time to set new goals, recalibrating for what the world is going to need in two months and six months from now.  As of now, we are in a new world – it will never be the same again – it is going to be new and different. 

That being said, I am moving forward selectively with some classes and events being held at The Institute of Awakened Mastery, inviting your intelligent and wise participation.  The reason I am making this choice available is because we as initiates know how to make a difference in our own lives which can immediately affect others.  10 times, 100 times, 1000 times.  

Never has there been a more important time for each of us to make a wise choice about our mental and emotional attitudes.  And equally, never has there been a more important time for each of us to make the best choice about whether or not we are going to gather in a select group outside of our homes for the right purpose – this must be an individual choice based on you as an individual and your individual responsibilities.  

What I do know is that if you attend Max Meditation or The Kabbalah Reunion, for example, we will be focused on not only your health and well-being, but also in taking the energy that we co-create when we are together and sending that joy into our neighborhoods and city that so desperately need it right now.  Not only can we refuel and build our own energy exponentially by refueling together, but we can share that energy intentionally as a group with thousands of people in need.  

These are my thoughts and my desires: Stay healthy, stay safe, make the right choices for you, and stay tuned with me.  Short of a cancellation of the posted events due to more unforeseen circumstances, I invite you to consider joining us if this feels productive and wise to you.  

If you ANY have symptoms, DO NOT come to my center. For the sake of everybody, be smart. If you are coughing or sneezing, DO NOT come to classes or private sessions until your symptoms are completely GONE. GONE = you have not had a fever for at least 72 hours and you are not coughing or sneezing at all.

I will continue to teach in person and see clients in person. If you register for a class and have symptoms, you can ask for a refund or transfer to the next class offered. 

 Sending you Love and Light,
Verla Wade & The Living Light Foundation

Excellence vs. Perfection

As many of you know who are following my monthly newsletters, I am teaching the 10-month Universal Kabbalah Ascension Class.  One of the challenges that I find many spiritual seekers have who are working on themselves and their lives is that of perfectionism.  Focusing on perfection will nearly always result in failure, because to be human is to be not perfect!  Not ever!  We are not designed to be perfect!  In fact, striving constantly for perfectionism often leads to the experience of overwhelm and even discouragement, and many people find themselves reluctant to start new projects because they know the end result will not be ‘perfect’.

If perfectionism is something you deal with, I urge you to replace it with working to attain excellence, and set your own bar of achievement, based on where you are in each area of your life.   In other words, compare your progression with yourself, not with anyone else.

Here are some attitude adjustments you can make to assist you to move from the need to be perfect into achieving excellence:

Excellence                                        vs.                                         Perfectionism

Willing to be wrong                                                                  Having to be Right

Accepting / Faith                                                                      Resisting

Trusting & believing in the positive                                       Skeptical

Being inclusive (including others)                                         Being self-focused

Consistent & diligent                                                                Serious

Being in the flow                                                                       Hard work

Commitment to your dream                                                   Commitment to someone else’s dream for you

Disclosure with discernment                                                  Withholding

Spontaneous                                                                             Controlled

Owning 100%                                                                            Settling for less than 100%

Confident                                                                                   Doubting

Enjoying the process                                                                Concerned only with the end result

One of my favorite mentors and teachers, Ipsissimus David Lanyon, Modern Mystery School, recently made this statement in a conversation we were having: Excellence cannot happen in your life without Commitment.  Commitment is the foundation for everything. 

If you have been committed to perfection, I invite you to change that commitment to excellence, and enjoy the new fruits in your life.

Sending you Love and Light,
Verla Wade & The Living Light Foundation

Fantasy vs. Reality

One big objective in life if you want to achieve your destiny (and be maximally effective while doing it), is to align your presentation to both yourself and others with what you hold as most important.  Another way of saying this is, “Tell the truth to myself and others.”

The way to know what you have been holding as most important is to look honestly at your results.

When your tangible measurable results are consistent with what you hold as most important – TAKE IT PERSONALLY – OWN IT – KNOW THAT YOU CREATED THIS RESULT!

When your tangible, measurable results are inconsistent with what you think you hold as most important, the following steps need to be taken:

  1. Stay away from the victim position. Hold that I am 100% accountable for creating this result.  Take the position that no one (including myself) is at fault or to blame about this.
  2. Check yourself for the presence of either guilt or resentment regarding this result.  If you are experiencing guilt you are protecting your fantasy about yourself.  If you are experiencing resentment, you are protecting your fantasy about another.
  3. Look at what result you did create – other than the one you wanted.  What is it that you allowed to be more important than creating what you really wanted?
  4. Look for any beliefs/positions you held that did not support you in creating the desired result.  Let go of any unworkable positions/beliefs.
  5. Check the intensity of your commitment to creating what you hold as most important.  Have you been deceiving yourself about your degree of commitment?
  6. Reaffirm your commitment to the result you want to create.  Challenge yourself to full participation.  GO FOR IT!
Working with reality (vs. fantasy) does require a new level of recognizing and telling ourselves the truth.  When we tell ourselves the truth – the real truth (without guilt or resentment) – it will bring us into the now.  And the NOW is the only place from where we can make a sustainable change.

I invite you to look at your life through this new filter of fantasy vs. reality.  I trust it will reveal some very interesting things to you about you.

Sending you Love and Light,
Verla Wade & The Living Light Foundation

Unproductive Positions, Stopping Places, & Walls

In Kabbalah and other classes I often talk about the ways we block the light – how we slow down our own progress and impede our own progression.  Each of us has plenty of these ineffectual positions, walls and stopping places.  I have found that there are certain walls many people have in common that must be overcome if one is going to successfully fulfill their destiny.  Most of these are in the form of unproductive positions and beliefs.

In order to achieve your destiny you must:

  1. Choose fulfillment as a key foundation for life rather than survival.
  2. Release other people’s agenda for you and own the idea that there is no particular way that anyone should be.
  3. Realize that what is past is past and has no bearing on the now.
  4. Release the belief “it has to be perfect” no one can consistently live up to this measurement.  It is guaranteed to sabotage you and/or your health, peace of mind, and wellbeing.
  5. Release the belief that “what I want is not okay, it isn’t good enough.” Or “it is just too ambitious.”
  6. Tell yourself the truth about what is most important to you and release the position “I don’t know what is most important to me.”  You do know and are keeping this a secret from yourself!
  7. Operate as a person who is in the process of creating his/her destiny (what is most important).  The most important thing is to create a truly supportive environment for yourself.
  8. While you are in the process of achieving your destiny, a number of potential stopping places/walls exist.  Some of these are:
  • Discouragement/lack of faith/lack of belief in yourself
  • Looking back and longing for what was (and remembering a “rose-colored” version of the past)
  • Bogging down in incompletes
  • Greener pastures – I would be more fulfilled/happier in a different job, relationship, city, etc.
  • “Wanting to want to change” vs. actually taking the action steps necessary to change
  • “Birds of a feather” – surrounding yourself with people who will buy your excuses to stay reasonable and comfortable and live smaller than your destiny
  • Not setting new goals that are consistent with what is most important to you and in alignment with your destiny
  • Buying into other people’s values in order to fit in and belong
  • Letting your clarity of purpose and vision for who you are slip
Mastering these obstacles in life equals achieving your greatness.  No one said it would be easy, but it will be worth it!  Keep persevering and know that everything your heart desires is on the other side of these walls!

Sending you Love and Light,
Verla Wade & The Living Light Foundation