There are less than 100 days left this year!  It’s time to start thinking about what you want to do with these remaining days of 2020.

When I realized how close we are to the end of the year and how few days are actually left, I started remembering what I have achieved this year, and what I still want to accomplish as the year is coming to a close

2020 has been a huge reset – for all of us.  It has ushered in an unprecedented necessity to relinquish much that we hold dear – and open to new possibilities and new ways of doing things – not because we wanted to, but because we needed to.

Resilience is the word of the year, and with that, I now invite you to look at what you have accomplished this year with your resilience – as you adopted new levels of resilience in areas you never imagined you would need resilience!

Here are some recommended steps:

First: Return to the beginning of 2020 and review your year.  As you do this, acknowledge yourself for all the small and large things that you have done well.

Second: As you review 2020, please notice who you were in January and February, and who you are now!!!  You are different!!!  What are the visions and dreams you had at the beginning of the year?  Knowing what you know now, and who you are now, how can you revitalize and re-visualize your original goals into creation?

Third: After you have acknowledged your successes, it’s time to re-set your vision for the remainder of 2020.
•    What still needs to be done this year that is meaningful to you in your life?
•    What “lights you up” when you think about accomplishing it?
•    What impact – personally or professionally – is yours to make, that perhaps you have been avoiding?

It’s time to embrace the harvest energy of the coming fall months and turn it into productiveness in our lives.

Here are the statistics: 80% of the work gets done in 20% of the time – let’s make this last 20% count!

I am holding you in my heart.

So many changes are happening so fast in our lives right now due to Covid-19.  Even as we are beginning the integration back into our world, aware of social distancing, wearing our masks, and making all the protective adjustments to our norm as we understand them, we are looking at the possibility of another resurgence of this virus, and returning to even more isolation.

As you know I have stepped out of my comfort zone (a single, professional business owner) into the world of dating – for the first time in a number of years.  This has provided me with both a very steep new learning curve and a rich opportunity for growth, similar to the new learning curve and growth that we are each experiencing with C-19.

I’m learning some new things from my dating experiences.  One I would like to elaborate on this week is that of loss.  I recently had a fulfilling developing relationship come to an unexpected abrupt end – that I did not see coming.  I cannot help but see the similarities between the end of this relationship and what many of us have lost as a result of isolation and the resulting adjustments we are now making in learning to live with this new world-wide virus, which we don’t yet fully understand.

Here is what I have to share with you from this relationship loss.

When we are having a break-up with somebody we tend to focus on “missing the person” vs. missing what the person brought into our life or missing what we enjoyed about the relationship.  In recovering my balance, my Middle Pillar, which has taken about a month, I shifted my focus from “I miss this person” to reviewing what he represented in my life, and brought to my life that I was missing.  And of course, included in this list were things like companionship, deep communication, spending time with someone with who there is mutual attraction….  You get the picture.

I discovered that when I focused on the specifics of what I missed (vs. the specific person), I soon was able to discern what aspects were about missing the other person and what work I still need to do for myself (to fill in missing pieces).  It is so seductive and easy to focus on “missing the person,” and waste a lot of time and energy in that experience vs. really discovering what experiences and qualities they brought to our life that we value and feel incomplete without.  Invariably, some of these qualities we can fulfill ourselves, and some do require another person!

Both these pieces of information are equally important.  First, I have proceeded to fulfill the qualities and experiences I can on my own.  Second, I now have an even better grasp on what it is I am looking for and what really fulfills me – ‘Know Thyself’.  And as a result, have been able to further fine-tune the qualities of who I am seeking as a partner – realistically.  When I stopped focusing on the man who was gone, and instead focused on all the wonderful things I had experienced in his presence, I started feeling a sense of relief.  It’s not about him, because other men can do what he did – can bring to me what he brought.  It can be any number of other people.

This is reflective of the unbalanced energy in Malkuth (the vice) – Inertia.  When we start to think that it’s only a specific person who can bring us these things to our life, we are dealing with the vice of Malkuth in relationships.  We are now stuck in inertia – the aspect of physics reflecting an object in motion stays in motion – and we keep digging into the pain, the loss, the lack, etc. vs. what did I enjoy so much that I am now really missing?  This approach to recovering from the loss of someone who you enjoyed puts you back in the driver’s seat, as well as helps you know who you are and what you are seeking at a deeper level.

I decided to share this with you because I feel the same is true about all that we have lost and are losing in the experience of dealing with Covid-19.  We are re-emerging into a significantly changed world and environment.

What have you have lost that you value?  For example, I really miss the experience of dining out, the experience of shopping and browsing at my favorite stores – seeing in person what is new (vs. purchasing on line), the experience of feeling safe and free to meet new people – either as clients or as dates – and welcome them into my sphere.  Applying what I learned from my recent dating experience, I have to ask myself, what is underlying the physical experience I am missing?   What are the benefits and qualities that these missing experiences bring to my life?  Once you start to identify the absent benefits and qualities, you can now begin to identify creative ways of fulfilling them in your life.

And therein lies the answer to regaining balance, equilibrium and peace of mind – the Middle Pillar – in your life as we learn to live with this pandemic.  It is the difference between surviving and thriving.  This is a worthwhile endeavor that will guarantee a new level of Know Thyself, and result in creating new, innovative ways to ensure your needs and desires are fulfilled.

I am holding you in my heart.

Last week, I found myself looking at all the aspects of Covid-19 that do not make sense.  While I’m not going to list these here, if you would like then, please contact me directly and I will be glad to send it to you.

The list of what is not making sense has been accumulating for the past few months.  This in turn has created and raised a condition of cognitive dissonance, leading to structural tension, and confusion resulting in fear.  When courage is used to explore this current environment, it can provide a fertile arena for the evolution of thought, insight, and belief.  Courage in this sense, refers to action in the face of fear.  And a tremendous amount of fear has been created through the dissolution of trust in our authorities and associated governments.

So here goes – here is my humble point of view.  Please take it for what it is worth.

I want to be clear: The fear is a result of the challenge between our childhood survival strategies developed as defense mechanisms and the individuated adult that needs to be emancipated into sovereignty.  In other words, we must take responsibility for the fear – it is ours and when we take responsibility, we are then able to start responding with courageous productivity, vs. victimization!

The two key questions we have to ask as the courageous adult:

• Is the established guard here to protect or to control and dominate? and 
• What do we need to do if we value true freedom?

The continued environment of separation, isolation, and lockdown in the face of surmounting questions, while our economic foundations are being challenged has created a veritable “powder keg” that various personality styles have finally begun responding and/or reacting to.  Finally, at the end of last week, the fear led to demonstrations and peaceful protesting, which quickly erupted into rioting, violence, and even anarchy in cities across the United States.

As I watched the reports coming in over the weekend with mounting sadness for what was happening in our country, I started thinking about the Hermetic axiom, as within, so without, and as without; which led me to reflect and question if what is unhealed for us as adults is now being reflected in our society.

I want to say that I am thankful that attention and awareness is being brought to social injustices that are happening in our country AND I am not happy about the behavior that has brought these awarenesses to the forefront.   No person deserves to be treated unfairly, judged unfairly, be treated less than, abused in any way.  Period.

Please understand that I am not advocating in any way at this time that you disobey the current local, state, and national laws.  What I am suggesting is that you look deeply at what is happening and decide for yourself what is true justice and mercy and what is true severity and imbalance.  In order to accurately do that, we have to start looking at our own personal history, the messages we received in our early formative years, and how they continue to affect each of us today.

Dysfunctional, harmful, abusive cycles and as well as ineffective co-dependent solutions must be changed.  Now.  If we don’t change them, then history will continue to repeat itself.  In order to transform these behaviors though, healing is required.

How to heal?  In order for the macrocosm to heal, the microcosm has to heal.  In other words, the country cannot heal until as a whole until its citizens heal.  We vote, we can protest (if we chose), we have numerous options available to us in this country of freedom, AND until we look at and heal the current hurtful patterns that are embodied and running within ourselves, things will not change in our world!  Until enough of us sort out these same patterns within of the wounded inner child, our country will not change.  Only a degree of change can be legislated.  True, real, sustainable change has to happen within each individual as a result of his/her willingness to heal, change, grow, adjust, educate, and embrace compassion and loving-kindness for self and others.

To begin with, let’s look now at the continuum:
demonstrating leading to peaceful protesting
leading to rioting (acting out),
leading to anarchy.
And let’s overlay this continuum in our own lives and our individual behavior where the unhealed inner child is involved, still influencing us and our decisions as an adult.

To Address This, Some Questions To Ask Yourself:

• What part of you/me needs to be heard?
• What part of you/me is on the verge of acting out/rioting?
• What part of you/me does not have healthy boundaries and/or does not know when it is time to stop in order to not hurt ourselves, someone else, or someone else’s property?
• What are you/I complaining about?
• Who or what are you/I blaming?
• What is your/my internal racial practice?  or
• What is the racial discrimination you perpetuate with/on yourself? or
• When, and where are you selectively applying good behavior (like selectively applying the rules of the law) to yourself?  When are you using selective application on yourself?
• What are the acts of violence that you perpetuate on yourself?  (I find this happens for so many people when they perceive they have made a mistake – their self-talk is often quite ruthless and unforgiving!)
• Where are you socially unjust with yourself?  (Again, I find so many people are very harsh with themselves when they perceive they have made an error – they are much harder on themselves than they would be on someone else for the same perceived error!)
• What parts of yourself are you not able to trust equally?
• Who/what are you aligning yourself with? and Is it worthy of you?

These questions are meant to help you (and me) uncover the unhealed and unaddressed wounds of an imperfect childhood and this temporary state of being we call “life”.

The answer is not about political uprising, rather its about political inrising.  I’m suggesting that you uprise by going within yourself and find the incongruencies before focusing outward.  Once we have recognized inconsistency within, addressed, and healed, then we are in a much better place to make decisions to help others heal and address the world’s needs.

What happens if we never reclaim ourselves from the wounded child imprint? What happens when the feelings surface when we reconsider allegiance to the big, looming authorities that we imagine could crush us if we don’t comply? This is the pattern of intergenerational trauma we see running through the lineage of humanity now, where unexamined trauma leads to a state of dissociation from self and intuition.  And the resulting outrage that the authorities are not taking care of us!  And indeed, it appears it may be true – it seems they don’t know how to!

Bringing Our Shadow to Light – It Is Time!

It’s possible that in this moment in time, our shadows are coming to light, (individually and collectively) meaning we are experiencing opportunities to see where and how we might be holding the very same energy of those we judge and condemn.  We are seeing what we are capable of doing when we don’t feel taken care of …in other words, the ways in which we unconsciously derive a sense of power through our need to be right, be in control, control others, and to otherwise imagine that we are important or superior to anyone else.  When we look at these areas of our life and relationship (wherever there is conflict in one’s life), we will be given the opportunity to own it or deny it.  When we own it, we see that the “enemies” in power are representatives of the suppressed parts of our collective and individual unconscious — the shadow within each of us that is disconnected from our heart.  We can simply choose to stop feeding that unconsciousness by telling the truth and staying always in our heart as we allow our awareness to expand and expand and expand.

Can You Trust Yourself?

When your body gets clear, it tells you the truth.  You will know – either you are healthy, or you are not.  You know how you feel.  Your “gut” tells you.  There is a quiet calm, a “knowing” – from the core of your being.  Take some time, give all your emotions that are up right now time to settle, and then check in – you will know the truth – your truth.

Does Your Truth Matter?

It may be an important time in human history to voice your truth.  A time to dismantle the illusion that only experts speak.  Do your research for the facts – the real facts, not just what agree with how you think and feel, and then find your voice, and share it without needing anyone to agree with you or support you.  Recognize that while it may be only your truth, that your truth matters – you don’t need to convince anyone – because it’s your truth.

What Role Does Faith Play Right Now?

First, there is not a knight on a white horse who is riding to save you/us.  There is not a politician, president, doctor, parent, leader who can make everything right for you.  You are the authority – either you are the spiritual adult in your life (or you are not).  This is an inside job for each of us.  It is time to adult, step up, step into your power, resolve your internal and external conflicts with radical self-acceptance, compassion, and forgiveness, and begin to explore what it would be to recognize that the system is just the system.  And that while it can always be enhanced – it will never be perfected.  That is the nature of systems.

Can we move beyond external forms of government and the illusion that we need to be protected?  That we don’t know how to care for and heal ourselves?  It may be time to find out, and it will require giving up all hope of being rescued, and finding that deep faith, trust, and commitment to supervising, governing, and leading oneself.  This can only be fully accomplished by addressing and healing the wounds sustained in our early life. as we embrace an ongoing commitment of becoming our own best self (using ourself and God as the only point of reference), regardless of everything else that is happening around us.

The truth is that we wake up when we are ready, and not one second sooner.  As we do, we discover that we need one other, to share the path, into the vast evolving universe and the ultimate experience of freedom, joy, and beauty – our eternal birthright.

Where To Go From Here

The seven ancient Mystery Schools have been assisting people to their greatness for thousands of years on this planet.  Today the Modern Mystery School is in over 35 countries world-wide, offering private sessions and teachings to help people find their path and assist them on their journey to enlightenment and actualization.

As we are now moving back into integration with society, may I suggest a few recommendations to support you – please contact me if you are interested about why I am specifically recommending these:

• Renew your Life Activation and Full Spirit Activation as soon as possible (in person session)
• Receive the Blood Healing and the Hermetic Path Clearing – they are particularly helpful right now (in person session)
• The Empower Thyself Class and Initiation, Universal Kabbalah Ascension Class Series, and Healers Academy, are all classes that will enhance your ability to adapt and function in our now rapidly changing social structure.  (in person classes)
• Sacred Geometry 1, Astral Travel, Journeys of the Spirit, Sacred Geometry 2, Sacred Geometry 3 (in person classes – all scheduled or being scheduled at this time – stay tuned)
• Reclaiming Your Golden Child (private session created by me and can be done online)
• The Tree of Health, Vitality & Wholeness: Thriving vs. Surviving – Conversations with Kabbalah (online 7 consecutive classes – scheduled to begin Thursdays, June 25 @ 6:30 pm and Mondays, June 29 @ noon)
• A Day with Quan Yin (class developed, written and authored by me – stay tuned – will be offered online)

Please contact me if you are interested in information about or would like to book any of the above recommendations.  If you have been initiated by a Guide other than me, and they offer any of the above services and classes, please reach out to them – they are ready and waiting to serve you.

I am holding you in my heart.

As humans, we believe that we have the right to know. And, in fact, we are educated to know, and then expected to know in order to attain and maintain employment; indeed, in order to succeed in life.

And yet, I have recently been asking myself, what is it that I know? Like you, I can answer this question; as I know quite a bit in certain areas. And yet, what do we really know?

First, let me say that I am not questioning, nor am I challenging the value of a good education. Education is important – as is the ability to integrate that education with life skills – sometimes called street smarts. I am also not questioning the value of the ancient decree “Know Thyself”. This knowledge, understanding, and wisdom is imperative to living the right life.

What I became aware a while ago, is that I don’t know what I don’t know. Many of you have heard me say this for years – for those of you who know me, it is not new. What is new, is that I am now dating for the first time in number of years, and am applying this statement to dating.

One of the hardest things for me about dating is that almost always with another person involved there are things you don’t know – especially at first. And depending on how the relationship progresses or doesn’t, there are things you will never know. For instance, why it is ending? I mean why it is really ending – not the surface stuff, but what is really going on with the two psyches involved.

We are all quite adept at making up a plausible “storyline” about the resulting outcome, when things don’t go the way we anticipate with another person. She has intimacy issues, he has not completed his last relationship, etc., etc., etc., ad nauseam. In fact, when we don’t know, we have a tendency to label the result with a story that makes sense to us (based on our experiences), and move on. Right? And this is not just in dating.

I decided, that as new men moved through my life I was going to continue moving forward with no stories about them! I have concluded that since I do not really know them, that any story I put on the situation is just a spin, based on me, and might have no true basis in reality. Sure, I’m pretty astute, even aware, and a somewhat trained psychic. All that being equal, I still don’t know that person, and my spin/story is just that – not based on fact, rather based on some fragment of my past experience, or present figment of imagination, or projection into the future.

With this in mind, I have decided to LIVE IN THE QUESTION. No story, no fear, no spin, no solution. This means no immediate resolution that lets my emotional and mental bodies “off the hook”. When I honestly don’t know, I respond with just the simple statement – I don’t know what happened. And, I have to tell you – that in itself, has been a big learning curve. It’s not easy, because we are SUPPOSED TO KNOW! Right? If we don’t know, apparently we have not done something right!

Well, here’s what I have to share with you. When two people are involved, we cannot always know what is going on with the other person. Indeed, sometimes they don’t even know! Which leads me to know that my choice to live with the question might be more honest than always seeking to know why it didn’t work out, or what happened for him, etc. etc. etc.

I have discovered that as I live in the question, it seems to always bring me back to me. Am I who I want to be? Am I the best version of myself? And honestly, isn’t that what its about?

Not knowing is not easy. And yet, its honest. Its authentic. Next time you don’t have enough information and you decide to “diagnose” a situation or person in your life just so you can be comfortable, I invite you to live in the question.

And please, let me know how it unfolds for you.

I am holding you in my heart.

Sending You Love and Light,
Verla Wade & The Living Light Foundation