Moving From The Defense Strategies of the Inner Child To The Individuated Sovereign of the Spiritual Adult

Last week, I found myself looking at all the aspects of Covid-19 that do not make sense.  While I’m not going to list these here, if you would like then, please contact me directly and I will be glad to send it to you.

The list of what is not making sense has been accumulating for the past few months.  This in turn has created and raised a condition of cognitive dissonance, leading to structural tension, and confusion resulting in fear.  When courage is used to explore this current environment, it can provide a fertile arena for the evolution of thought, insight, and belief.  Courage in this sense, refers to action in the face of fear.  And a tremendous amount of fear has been created through the dissolution of trust in our authorities and associated governments.

So here goes – here is my humble point of view.  Please take it for what it is worth.

I want to be clear: The fear is a result of the challenge between our childhood survival strategies developed as defense mechanisms and the individuated adult that needs to be emancipated into sovereignty.  In other words, we must take responsibility for the fear – it is ours and when we take responsibility, we are then able to start responding with courageous productivity, vs. victimization!

The two key questions we have to ask as the courageous adult:

  • Is the established guard here to protect or to control and dominate? and 
  • What do we need to do if we value true freedom?

The continued environment of separation, isolation, and lockdown in the face of surmounting questions, while our economic foundations are being challenged has created a veritable “powder keg” that various personality styles have finally begun responding and/or reacting to.  Finally, at the end of last week, the fear led to demonstrations and peaceful protesting, which quickly erupted into rioting, violence, and even anarchy in cities across the United States.

As I watched the reports coming in over the weekend with mounting sadness for what was happening in our country, I started thinking about the Hermetic axiom, as within, so without, and as without; which led me to reflect and question if what is unhealed for us as adults is now being reflected in our society.

I want to say that I am thankful that attention and awareness is being brought to social injustices that are happening in our country AND I am not happy about the behavior that has brought these awarenesses to the forefront.   No person deserves to be treated unfairly, judged unfairly, be treated less than, abused in any way.  Period.

Please understand that I am not advocating in any way at this time that you disobey the current local, state, and national laws.  What I am suggesting is that you look deeply at what is happening and decide for yourself what is true justice and mercy and what is true severity and imbalance.  In order to accurately do that, we have to start looking at our own personal history, the messages we received in our early formative years, and how they continue to affect each of us today.

Dysfunctional, harmful, abusive cycles and as well as ineffective co-dependent solutions must be changed.  Now.  If we don’t change them, then history will continue to repeat itself.  In order to transform these behaviors though, healing is required.

How to heal?  In order for the macrocosm to heal, the microcosm has to heal.  In other words, the country cannot heal until as a whole until its citizens heal.  We vote, we can protest (if we chose), we have numerous options available to us in this country of freedom, AND until we look at and heal the current hurtful patterns that are embodied and running within ourselves, things will not change in our world!  Until enough of us sort out these same patterns within of the wounded inner child, our country will not change.  Only a degree of change can be legislated.  True, real, sustainable change has to happen within each individual as a result of his/her willingness to heal, change, grow, adjust, educate, and embrace compassion and loving-kindness for self and others.

To begin with, let’s look now at the continuum:
demonstrating leading to peaceful protesting
leading to rioting (acting out),
leading to anarchy.
And let’s overlay this continuum in our own lives and our individual behavior where the unhealed inner child is involved, still influencing us and our decisions as an adult.

To Address This, Some Questions To Ask Yourself:

  • What part of you/me needs to be heard?
  • What part of you/me is on the verge of acting out/rioting?
  • What part of you/me does not have healthy boundaries and/or does not know when it is time to stop in order to not hurt ourselves, someone else, or someone else’s property?
  • What are you/I complaining about?
  • Who or what are you/I blaming?
  • What is your/my internal racial practice?  or
  • What is the racial discrimination you perpetuate with/on yourself? or
  • When, and where are you selectively applying good behavior (like selectively applying the rules of the law) to yourself?  When are you using selective application on yourself?
  • What are the acts of violence that you perpetuate on yourself?  (I find this happens for so many people when they perceive they have made a mistake – their self-talk is often quite ruthless and unforgiving!)
  • Where are you socially unjust with yourself?  (Again, I find so many people are very harsh with themselves when they perceive they have made an error – they are much harder on themselves than they would be on someone else for the same perceived error!)
  • What parts of yourself are you not able to trust equally?
  • Who/what are you aligning yourself with? and Is it worthy of you?

These questions are meant to help you (and me) uncover the unhealed and unaddressed wounds of an imperfect childhood and this temporary state of being we call “life”.

The answer is not about political uprising, rather its about political inrising.  I’m suggesting that you uprise by going within yourself and find the incongruencies before focusing outward.  Once we have recognized inconsistency within, addressed, and healed, then we are in a much better place to make decisions to help others heal and address the world’s needs.

What happens if we never reclaim ourselves from the wounded child imprint? What happens when the feelings surface when we reconsider allegiance to the big, looming authorities that we imagine could crush us if we don’t comply? This is the pattern of intergenerational trauma we see running through the lineage of humanity now, where unexamined trauma leads to a state of dissociation from self and intuition.  And the resulting outrage that the authorities are not taking care of us!  And indeed, it appears it may be true – it seems they don’t know how to!

Bringing Our Shadow to Light – It Is Time!

It’s possible that in this moment in time, our shadows are coming to light, (individually and collectively) meaning we are experiencing opportunities to see where and how we might be holding the very same energy of those we judge and condemn.  We are seeing what we are capable of doing when we don’t feel taken care of …in other words, the ways in which we unconsciously derive a sense of power through our need to be right, be in control, control others, and to otherwise imagine that we are important or superior to anyone else.  When we look at these areas of our life and relationship (wherever there is conflict in one’s life), we will be given the opportunity to own it or deny it.  When we own it, we see that the “enemies” in power are representatives of the suppressed parts of our collective and individual unconscious — the shadow within each of us that is disconnected from our heart.  We can simply choose to stop feeding that unconsciousness by telling the truth and staying always in our heart as we allow our awareness to expand and expand and expand.

Can You Trust Yourself?

When your body gets clear, it tells you the truth.  You will know – either you are healthy, or you are not.  You know how you feel.  Your “gut” tells you.  There is a quiet calm, a “knowing” – from the core of your being.  Take some time, give all your emotions that are up right now time to settle, and then check in – you will know the truth – your truth.

Does Your Truth Matter?

It may be an important time in human history to voice your truth.  A time to dismantle the illusion that only experts speak.  Do your research for the facts – the real facts, not just what agree with how you think and feel, and then find your voice, and share it without needing anyone to agree with you or support you.  Recognize that while it may be only your truth, that your truth matters – you don’t need to convince anyone – because it’s your truth.

What Role Does Faith Play Right Now?

First, there is not a knight on a white horse who is riding to save you/us.  There is not a politician, president, doctor, parent, leader who can make everything right for you.  You are the authority – either you are the spiritual adult in your life (or you are not).  This is an inside job for each of us.  It is time to adult, step up, step into your power, resolve your internal and external conflicts with radical self-acceptance, compassion, and forgiveness, and begin to explore what it would be to recognize that the system is just the system.  And that while it can always be enhanced – it will never be perfected.  That is the nature of systems.

Can we move beyond external forms of government and the illusion that we need to be protected?  That we don’t know how to care for and heal ourselves?  It may be time to find out, and it will require giving up all hope of being rescued, and finding that deep faith, trust, and commitment to supervising, governing, and leading oneself.  This can only be fully accomplished by addressing and healing the wounds sustained in our early life. as we embrace an ongoing commitment of becoming our own best self (using ourself and God as the only point of reference), regardless of everything else that is happening around us.

The truth is that we wake up when we are ready, and not one second sooner.  As we do, we discover that we need one other, to share the path, into the vast evolving universe and the ultimate experience of freedom, joy, and beauty – our eternal birthright.

Where To Go From Here

The seven ancient Mystery Schools have been assisting people to their greatness for thousands of years on this planet.  Today the Modern Mystery School is in over 35 countries world-wide, offering private sessions and teachings to help people find their path and assist them on their journey to enlightenment and actualization.

As we are now moving back into integration with society, may I suggest a few recommendations to support you – please contact me if you are interested about why I am specifically recommending these:

  • Renew your Life Activation and Full Spirit Activation as soon as possible (in person session)
  • Receive the Blood Healing and the Hermetic Path Clearing – they are particularly helpful right now (in person session)
  • The Empower Thyself Class and Initiation, Universal Kabbalah Ascension Class Series, and Healers Academy, are all classes that will enhance your ability to adapt and function in our now rapidly changing social structure.  (in person classes)
  • Sacred Geometry 1, Astral Travel, Journeys of the Spirit, Sacred Geometry 2, Sacred Geometry 3 (in person classes – all scheduled or being scheduled at this time – stay tuned)
  • Reclaiming Your Golden Child (private session created by me and can be done online)
  • The Tree of Health, Vitality & Wholeness: Thriving vs. Surviving – Conversations with Kabbalah (online 7 consecutive classes – scheduled to begin Thursdays, June 25 @ 6:30 pm and Mondays, June 29 @ noon)
  • A Day with Quan Yin (class developed, written and authored by me – stay tuned – will be offered online)

Please contact me if you are interested in information about or would like to book any of the above recommendations.  If you have been initiated by a Guide other than me, and they offer any of the above services and classes, please reach out to them – they are ready and waiting to serve you.

I am holding you in my heart.

Sending You Love and Light,
Verla Wade & The Living Light Foundation
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