Last month we talked about Relationships and the need – both our need and the planet’s need – for us to grow up and become Spiritual adults. In this conversation, we touched on fear and the impact it has in our lives. This month I want to delve deeper into fear and how is disables our ability to mature and function as adults.
What is Fear?
Actually, I view Fear as False Evidence Appearing Real! In our society today, we have very little true opportunity to actually use the original ‘flight or fight response of healthy fear’ to keep us safe. As a result, much of the fear we experience has become something it was never meant to be. In most cases, fear is no longer a trustworthy signal to keep us physically safe. In fact, when most fear that comes up today has nothing to do with actual physical survival. It is either False, as stated above, or Drama – today’s accepted cultural response to False Evidence Appearing Real.
But what is it about False Evidence Appearing Real that so many people keep returning to it and using it as a staple in their lives? Quite frankly, when we are in FEAR, even if it is false, we feel alive! It puts us on the edge, tips the balance, and keeps us moving – in comparison to the inertia or idleness that so many people experience in their daily lives. This momentum produced by fear and the direction we are moving in is often a rut – very seldom is it a path towards anything having to do with actually fulfilling our life purpose or destiny.
We might then deduce from this that F.E.A.R. for many of us has become a valued friend, keeping us “safe” from risks that would take us outside of our comfort zone!. The reality is that it is outside this comfort zone where true fulfillment and joy lie. In fact, F.E.A.R. is not really the safe friend that it masks as, but rather a technique that allows us to continue to sabotage our greatness and our potential!
Who is Afraid?
It is my experience in most situations with False Evidence Appearing Real, it is not the adult who is experiencing the Fear, but rather the inner child. The inner child creates situations in the adult’s life to get attention and noticed. Things like not paying the rent on time, not balancing the checkbook, waiting until the last minute to fill up the gas tank, always leaving late, running up the credit card beyond what can be paid back, or maintaining a constant high level of stress, fear and worry creating high blood pressure, headaches, injuries, feeling unloved or unlovable creating auto immune disorders and other related illnesses, …. This list goes on and on.
These are things that a mature adult does not do – but an inner child needing and wanting attention, … well let’s just say, the child breaks through into our lives, and cause stress, commotion, and sometimes downright disaster. Leaving a mess for the adult (that is present) to handle.
You may ask: how do I get past my Fear?
First, when you experience stress with someone and the resulting fear, it’s always a signal to be responsible and take care of the problem now. It is a message to do something, and the longer you put it off the louder the message gets. Doing something does not necessarily mean doing the easy thing, or fixing it for someone else. It does mean doing the right thing. This takes maturity, and can never be directed by the inner child.
Second, you have to realize that fear (like stress) pinpoints exactly what you need to focus on! For instance, Are you afraid of success? Kabbalistically speaking, fear of success is really inverted ego – the inversion of a fear of failure. For example, If you never have to succeed, you never have to fail!
Third, don’t turn away from fear (or stress, but rather, embrace them – embrace the heat they produce in your life! Accept them and let them do their work. Why? Because one of the secrets of our universe is that it’s never a contest between you and your obstacles, or between you and your fears. It’s always about you and God. It’s about you and the Light and what it will reveal to you. The obstacles and fear are only about how you will reveal the Light in your life! You can be slowed and even stopped by stress and fear, or you can recognize that they are here to help you move forward.
What is on the other side of Fear?
Your life – the one that is really worth living. The life that you dream about. The life that you desire. The one you are meant to live.
Sending you Love and Light,
Verla and The Living Light Foundation